By way of details, I am:
- mother to one (Valentine Dausae -- with one on the way -- Luisa Jane)
- wife to one Jason (archaeologist extraordinaire)
- a seminary survivor with a Masters in Counseling
- a Registered Nurse (with a minor in Journalism... ? ...)
- educator to many healthcare workers
- a natural optimist, with an overly trained skepticism
- a lazy crafter
- an aspiring speaker
- ever so slightly crunchy
- general jack of all, master of none
- encountered much death
- saved a few lives
- lived in a church
- bathed in a wheel-barrow
Just read your post "The Thinning Veil", very nicely presented. I had witnessed three deaths in my life. One was my father, another was a gentleman I was seeing as a Stephen Minister who died of Lymphomic cancer, and my dear mother in law Louise, who died in our presence in the car as we were driving her home.
ReplyDeleteI was horrified when dad expired before my eyes and I was not able to do anything about it. Soon after the reality set in, I felt a powerful, profound and humbling experience as you described. A feeling that nearly overcame the sadness of losing a great man who influenced everyone around him. Dad had unequivocally excepted the Lord as his Savior and this helped us all in processing our loss.
When the gentleman I was seeing as my care giver passed from this life to the next, I felt the same experience as when dad passed. Again, when my mother in law unexpectedly passed away en-route to home, amidst the frantic emotions, panic and helplessness and regrets, there was this powerful feeling present. A very humbling, natural and human experience that brought a sliver of peacefulness into the chaos. Hard to explain.....These three events gave me a new perspective on death -I am not as frightened of death as I was before, nor am I as uncomfortable as I was when approaching and comforting someone who is dealing with death (still not easy but better).
It has also driven me to do my best to treat loved ones (and those around me) the best I can while I am able. This is not always easy as emotions, impatience, laziness and business of life tend to get in my way. I have to constantly remind myself to try my best. And if I failed that day, there's always another day to make it right (until eventually time runs out). It's like golf, if you screw up a hole, put it behind and move on to the next. But eventually you will get to the eighteenth hole.
Dad, this is so beautiful and personal and moving. I have never been present for the death of a person who matters so much to me. I can only imagine a heightened sense of chaos and attachment. Thanks for being so willing to share from such deep experiences. I so hope that someday, I can help people experience the same kind of motivating and liberating view of life, through the lens of the reality of death.
DeleteWhen we honored the saints who shaped us, and have gone before us on Sunday, we shared Bobo's name with our church. I'm so grateful to him for who he helped Jason become, and I wish I had met him. Glad I got to know Nanna some before she died.
Also so grateful for you, and your willingness to walk into the struggles and realities of other people's lives through your Stephen Ministry. Love and miss you, Dad.
This is fun, may read more blogs and less gaming....
ReplyDeleteHa! I'm not going to put much stock in that. But I'm flattered the thought crossed your mind! ;)
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