Sunday, December 2, 2012

chesha in motion, indeed

Hello again
I took a long hiatus. I just stopped caring about beating out my theology, or lack thereof. I experienced one brother attempting suicide, and one brother graduating with a doctorate. I got a job. I traveled to Israel for a month. I sat on my couch with Jason. I got a dog.

Alphabet Soup in Motion
I started therapy. Psychoanalysis, if you're interested. Pretty sweet deal, actually. The guy has been a therapist for years, but needed one last case study to complete his certification, or  whatever, in psychoanalysis. I see him FOUR days a week (that's right, four). For real cheap. Best thing for me.

I started playing with my creativity again. I paint, make jewelry, carve stamps, design projects, and prettify my house.

I'm about to commit what I suspect is blog popularity suicide. Although, I'm sure the case could be made that not posting for well over a year already did that.

More after the jump.

I debated starting another blog altogether, to keep the purity and continuity of my original posts, and hold the door open to jump back into the doubt debate when ready. The second blog would serve as my creative outlet. However, both stories are chesha in motion. My motion. So, I choose to keep both stories in one place.

I put this off a long time because I so value the minds that shared my journey through my initial postings, (or helped me start my journey, like John). I've missed our conversations. And, selfishly, I didn't want to close any doors to reigniting them. What started as an attempt at self-discovery began to feel so pressured to find answers and conformity. Knowing I wasn't alone (because you shared so generously) allowed me freedom to walk away from the whole thing. Thanks for that.

Jason just said, "I think the people who originally started following your blog understand that it was therapeutic. Very much about finding God and finding you." I like his style. I'll continue to use the blog in that vein.

So, what's coming

I don't know for sure. I'm going to start an etsy shop, and this blog will be connected to it. So I will occasionally post my creative projects on here. I'm still angry about sexism, ageism, racism, anything-used-to-discriminate-ism. That'll probably show up. I'm still adrift in a sea of faith that is much bigger than the stagnant little pond I used to know--meaning I still doubt, more than ever (I'm apparently a fan of always using more words, when I could use less...), (I'm also a HUGE fan of parenthetical explanations). That'll probably show up too (...pretty much everything in that last sentence).

And, I'll still be inconsistent. But I'm in motion. And that's what the whole thing was about anyway.  

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