Friday, April 3, 2015

All the Lovely Shoes - and the last of this metaphor...

A Jason & Chesha Collaborative Production

The little pickup that could on its 1st archaeology adventure.
For those of you in agony over the cliff-hanger of our dramatic story lately (told in depth here & here), here's closure.

I got a job. Not just any job. The bestest, hardest work I've ever done. A job that allows me to synthesize my 13 years in the medical field, my training, my masters degree, my interests and passions into a new form of action and leadership. A job that surrounds me with men and women from whom I am already learning tremendously.

Jason stays home with Valentine -- taking over the shaping of her brilliant, adventurous mind. He hopes to keep up his archaeology skills, primarily through helping a good friend get his archy company off the ground.

We got a pickup to replace my beloved MINI. And, while I'm still warming up to it (Jason hasn't told me the gender yet), it has actually been very useful for our little family.

Today, we received our first paycheck in months (yay!), and we are both finding great satisfaction in our new roles.

Let me tell you what we've learned (this conversation is actually happening as the post unfolds, which is pretty cool to me):
  1. Both of us (worded by Jessica): People love is divine. Not in the sense of "Your coat is so diviiine, Dahling." In the sense that god shines and expresses god's self through the love of people. Needing that love and support at this undeniable level made us acutely aware of the gift that our favorite humans are to us.
  2. Jessica: While I still don't see God in every breath of wind, or turning leaf, or open parking spot, I can't deny the power of unusually aligned circumstances. We moved to our town in December. Jason lost his job in January. My position opened up, in our town (just 2 miles away), in January. The person who hired me for the job is the same person who hired me into healthcare in 2003. There are other occurrences and mysteries that I won't tell, because it feels like it cheapens them. But, even I can find a divine possibility in all this.
  3. Jason: Pride is a stumbling block that can keep us away from our resources. It was really difficult to sign up for unemployment, because of the stigmas. I thought I'd get work in no time, but it didn't pan out. Counting on a future that wasn't assured cost us a great deal of financial support we could have had if I'd been more honest with myself about our actual circumstances.
  4. Jessica's take on that: Same thing applies to relationships. When we are too proud to own our grief in front of our friends, we lose out on the benefit of the depth of their love.
  5. Jason: Endurance is key. It's not like a movie, where the difficulties are a short montage immediately followed by a heartwarming resolution in the next scene. It's a long slog with a much longer downward slope than you prepare for before you ever get to the slow upward climb.
  6. Jessica's take on that: This was one of those things that helped us find true friendship in our chaos. Some individuals were willing to wear sackcloth with us as long as it took. The human reaction to the suffering of others often skips to the happy ending. Some truly brave souls just joined with us, patiently watching this unfold over all these long weeks.
  7. Both of us: Oh. That's what those years of savings were for. :( We'd have been in the street without it, but it just hurts to say goodbye to all of that money.
  8. Jason: It could always be worse. It may be easier for me to accept that reality because I have family who have been in oppressive situations like invasion by foreign armies, ethnic cleansing by their own government. That helped me keep things in perspective. I still had days when I was really beaten up by it all, but it was easier for me to just keep on doing what was necessary to keep the lights on and heat running when I had that perspective in mind.
  9. Jessica: My husband's family is pretty kick-butt. You should read his grandpa's book. And meet his grandmother. And settle in for long, amazing stories.
Of course, all of this is still swirling in my head -- connecting to grace, and Holy Thursday, and the awesomeness of humanity, and learning to find hope, and myriad other things. Some posts are planned to deal with that, but hopefully, I've settled your curiosity. And, with luck, exhausted that silly shoe metaphor...

In the meantime: thank you all for your prayers, love, emails, texts, gifts, thoughts, presence, and general wonderfulness. You made this journey one of the most meaningful I've ever walked, and because of getting to learn you and your capacity to love better, I wouldn't take back a single moment of it.

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