Grieving Our Tragedy (some resources and perspective)

What a terrible, senseless day. We feel rocked, frightened, angry, lost, & broken at the deaths/loss of so many children and adults in the Connecticut elementary school shooting. I felt my reaction in my whole body. Heat. Tears. A need to run--move--help--DO.

Statue of Jesus Weeping, OKC, OK. I took this photo near the Murrah Bombing Memorial Site--across from the actual memorial, built by a church. So many children lost there, as well.

I have no words of comfort or hope, even though I know time may bring those things. Now we mourn. Now we search, and weep, and reach out to each other.

A friend of mine, Sarah Jacks (LPC intern), offered some excellent wisdom I must share. She graduated from the counseling program with me, and is completing her counseling hours toward her licensure.

Sarah says, "Turn your TV off and pray. Connecticut needs out prayers. You do not need consistent, traumatizing coverage." 

Do grieve. Do pray. Do meditate and think. Do not traumatize yourself. These brokenhearted mommas & daddies & friends & lovers need our support and strength. No sliver of information garnered from consistent news watching will ever tell us why.

Sarah also provides resources for talking to children about violence: here &  here. Her blog is awholehearted30.wordpress.com.

I suggest one other thing. Please look into your life, and pay attention to the signs of troubled persons. We in no way bear the blame as victims. My words serve to build bridges, not lay blame.

A personal story. I saw an angry rant on an acquaintance's Facebook page. A military person (not my acquaintance) posted vitriolic, racist words, and threats to kill  members of the community he "serves" in. Unsure what to do, I called local police, who connected me with military intelligence. This occurred after the soldier in Afghanistan shot and killed so many. I don't know where the investigation went. But, I refuse to let politeness, discomfort, or excuses keep me from paying attention to real signs of disordered thinking. I sincerely hope this person received emotional support, psychological treatment, or the attention he needs.   

Today's tragedy moved me to impotent anger, to wordless prayers, and deep sadness. This inhuman act will never make sense. Never be explained. Burrow into your sorrow--we must acknowledge the pain--but do not forget your life, your loved ones. Do not listen to ignorant voices who will parse moments, and attribute human inhumanity to God. Be present to the people you share space with. God be with us.


Addendum--just saw that my mom posted this--may it be so:

The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18

Scarving for Details

My big leap of... something: Look what I made!

chesha in motion, indeed

Hello again
 
I took a long hiatus. I just stopped caring about beating out my theology, or lack thereof. I experienced one brother attempting suicide, and one brother graduating with a doctorate. I got a job. I traveled to Israel for a month. I sat on my couch with Jason. I got a dog.

Alphabet Soup in Motion

I started therapy. Psychoanalysis, if you're interested. Pretty sweet deal, actually. The guy has been a therapist for years, but needed one last case study to complete his certification, or  whatever, in psychoanalysis. I see him FOUR days a week (that's right, four). For real cheap. Best thing for me.

I started playing with my creativity again. I paint, make jewelry, carve stamps, design projects, and prettify my house.

I'm about to commit what I suspect is blog popularity suicide. Although, I'm sure the case could be made that not posting for well over a year already did that.

More after the jump.

Communion/Eucharist

crumbs drop to the floor.
wine splatters.
we are imperfect yet.
and we are joyful.
we are moved.
silent.
tearful.
we are your Body.
filled up on your body.
we leave a trace of our feast in this place.
may we do the same in our world.

a case of emPHASis on the wrong sylLABle

 

As a female who is adamant that sexual violence is never the fault of the victim, may I just raise a frustrated eyebrow at the “SlutWalk” movement? (Read about the now “global” effort here) A picture on CNN shows an intense young woman holding a sign that reads “We’re taking SLUT back.” Taking slut back? It is the tendency of abusers and rapists to dehumanize people. This term is just one way of dismissing somebody’s humanity to characterize them as problems. Since when was “slut” ever “our” term?

Sorry, John: It's not exactly a rant.

Any time a privileged group claims a moral right to that privilege, it raises questions. I remember a mission trip to Peru. It turned out to be my last “mission trip” because of disillusionment surrounding the affair. At one point, the leader of the group said, “They’ll believe you, because you’re American.” This was to be used to evangelize, get out of scrapes, whatever (scrapes? I was raised reading Hardy Boys from the 60’s, folks). The worst of these, for me, was using a false prestige to “evangelize.” Every single one of us was white, in a country of brown. Why should our privileged position overrule their life experiences, free will, and freedom of choice? It perpetuated our agenda, our prerogative, and further devalued and demeaned the people we expected to value us based on our color and citizenship. Disgusting.

Free and Easy

 My mental life took a hiatus starting a couple weeks ago. The timing for starting this blog amuses me, now. I wrote to my friend John (at biblicalworld) a while back, and asked him if it ever stops feeling like your underwear is showing over the internet. Then, this career crisis came, and I found myself repeatedly telling the same story to more and more strangers, waiting for someone to decide if the story meant anything to anyone other than myself (me? I don’t know. I had some really lazy grammar teachers). Maybe the blog served to prepare me for that feeling. Not enough, though, not enough.

I just could not bring myself to more self-exposure. I haven’t even been able to look at the blog. So, I’m gonna try easing back in.